Two weeks ago I loaded everything I own into a 26 foot truck and I loaded my car onto a trailer on the back of that truck and drove to a new city. I unloaded the truck with the help of others and I began unpacking in a new apartment.
The only thing I am certain of is that I made the right decision. My emotions alternate between wildly ecstatic and terror. My old life held dreams which never came to fruition. With it the heart of a man I had hoped would be mine. Yet deep in my heart I knew it would never work. You cannot exchange one friend for another and expect for happiness to reign. So I choose the friend who I know is tried and true.
In the movie "Hope Floats", the grandma said... "Beginnings are always scary, endings are sad, but it's the middle you have to worry about. My life in my former town had come to an end. There was no doubt in my mind this needed to happen. I had hoped for immediate bliss, but nothing worth having is ever immediate. You must work at it and you must let Hope float to the surface.
I have surrendered my life to chance, the universe or in terms easier for me to understand... to the creator. Leaving my home was pretty easy but leaving certain people from my former life is not so easy. These are the friends and family I will carry into this new life with me. While I release the dream of one certain person I am certain it is for the right reasons. Grief is difficult but sometimes knowing you are doing the right thing makes the pain bearable. I have made a vow to myself to begin my life here on Monday. I will take this weekend to grieve the losses I left in my other home town. It will not be the last time I feel the pain, yet only the certainty of my decision makes this loss a little easier. It's time to move forward and let Hope Float to the surface.
(c) copyright 2016 Out of the Darkness