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11:11 Miss you Mom

July 31, 2011 my Mom passed peacefully from this earth. Her passing ended my life as I knew it. After seven years of being her companion, care taker, friend and general pain in the backside, I was grief stricken. Nothing else mattered as I wondered what I was gong to do with my life. 

I spent the next two years trying to make sense of my life. Another relationship was coming to an end in my life and I did't want to hurt anymore, but it was worse staying in a bad place. I broke up with my boyfriend in October 2013. 

As January 2014 dawned I resolved to start actively working towards healing. I had spent way too much time in the floor of grief. I began posting 11:11 on Facebook every time I was thinking of my Mom or missing her. It has become my code of grief. 

I gave myself a set period of time to have my pity party. While the pain of grief continued it felt good to actually work on having a life again. The numbers 11:11 come from an old PO Box that my mom had for over 30 years. It serves as a reminder of her and who she was to me as her child but later in life as my best friend. While I miss her immensely I have resolved that January 1, 2016 I am leaving the grieving process and moving on with my life. It is a time of progression and moving forward. Life must move forward. The numbers 11:11 will always remind me of my mom and the great times we had, but I am adopting a new favorite number, 11:12. 

Danni Andrew
(c)copyright 2015 Out of the Darkness


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